People experience loss – separation from loved ones, the passing of the years, losing health, youth, wealth and on and on. And they feel insecure in the face of this loss. And when one speaks to them about this insecurity that is common to us all and how we could overcome it, one of the reactions they have is to invoke their bravery – “i am not a coward! I don’t fear death (loss). I am brave. I accept it bravely.” This is understandable because human beings don’t like to be scared. And so they start to think about loss as a hardship and threats that they can’t do much about. And so they respond to this onslaught/experience of pain and loss by trying to recover some semblance of dignity and they feel it is dignified to not be scared and to muster courage and bravery to face the loss without appearing devastated and weak.
But the question is not of bravery and cowardice at all. The question is this: when there is inevitable loss, paired with inevitable pain, how can I be satisfied or content with it? How can I find the light of contentment and satisfaction in the darkness of painful loss? And the first step in this direction is to realize that the real darkness are not the loss and pain themselves but rather the purposelessness or meaininglessness (or the unsatisfactory meanings) of the loss and the pain. Human beings, to my understanding, can’t reconcile with loss itself and can’t reconcile with pain itself. On its own and without a meaning it may bring, loss is unacceptable to me. On its own, the pain of loss is also unacceptable to me and I cannot be satisfied with it. What I can be reconciled with is the meaning of loss and pain. And since there isn’t a satisfactory meaning of loss and pain that my reason could discern on its own, I turn to help and a message from whoever made me and wheover gave me this loss and pain. I won’t repeat what follows from this as other posts already do that. The point here was to remind myself and the reader that the fear of death or loss is really not the point – its as easy to not be scared of the unknown as it is to be scared of the unknown. The issue with my soul is that it is dissatisfied and insecure and anxious about the meaning of death and loss. If there were meaning to loss and death and if that meaning were satisfactory to the mind and heart, then and only then i could accept the loss and pain without mutilating and oppressin my soul. when i try to accept the loss without a satisfactory meaning, i injure myself. When i try to ignore the loss and the associated pain, i inure myself. the path to the meaningfulness of loss and the pain of loss (both together, not just the one) goes through revelation and the ‘meanings’ it reveals. Being brave in the face of loss/pain or being scared in the face of loss/pain – both seem equally pointless if the loss/pain does not have a satisfactory meaning.
The Quran as Revelation 