My father had a meeting with a psychologist, his first ever. My father is 78 years old. The doctor asked candid questions and my father answered candidly. I find it meaningful to record the questions and answers because the 78 year old in me has the same questions. i paraphrase of course and I dont try to judge the questions and responses. my other blog postings do that already. I offer some comments in square brackets.
- what makes you most worried and anxious?
- my helplessness and dependence. my weakening body and mind. I feel my life is ending. I never thought the end would come so quickly and suddenly and so soon. [i never really thought that it would end or it is ending]. My best friend of 60 years died suddenly last year. He came back from dinner and was watching TV on his sofa when he suddenly passed away. His wife found him dead on the couch. That changed me. Since his death, I am always nervous that I too can suddenly pass away while watching tv or just sitting or sleeping. [until someone who really mattered to me passed away, the ‘death’ and ‘transience’ of the world – all the ‘high talk’ – did not truly register in a way to make me unsettled and anxious. I could write it off and carry on but not so after a close friend’s death! interesting!] I want to see more places and new places and i get bored just sitting and watching tv.
- What do you wish for? what do you want us to do for?
- i wish to be fully healthy and mobile and young again. My body and mind to be perfect. I don’t want to have depressing thoughts. I want my kids to be young again and all of them to be with me and close to me. I want to live long enough in good health to see my grandchildren grow up [and what then? am i sure i will be happy dying and getting weak then?]. Do you have any vitamins or medicines to make my brain and body like they were few years ago? can you give me something that will make be strong and independent again and not have sad/depressing thoughts? but i dont want sedatives. I would rather be aware of my worries then to be sedated but can you help me become strong and independent again? [unfortunately they can offer symptom management but not health and youthfulness and life]
- [is there something i should do now to help my 78 years old self? i think i should. i hope i can say something to my father when he visits me next month that helps him…if God wills..]
The Quran as Revelation 